today's headline brought to you by some misheard Rolling Stone's lyrics.

heads up for saturday's serious party. this will be the best thing to happen until all hell breaks loose on june 25th. now, anyone got a spandex jumpsuit i can borrow? no, seriously. that shit is expensive. (full body-painting doesn't qualify, i was told)

Black Label Presents:
BANANA HAMMOCK - How low can you go?

Mandatory spandex party. With Djs Sir Porkchopington, Smelly Finger, and Monsieur Andersonique. Free magic punch. Complimentary Slim Jims, hot dogs, and baby carrots.

Chicken Hut
Willoughby and Spencer, Brooklyn
11p; $3 benefits annual BLBC family reunion in Minneapolis

NOTE: The poster demands that you "keep it tight." We think that's their way of saying that you have to be in Spandex -- or else.

* and of course don't miss the Bicycle Fetish party during the day on havemeyer and grand in williamsburg.

Saturday, May 28, noon -6:00 p.m.
Havemeyer Street between Grand and Hope Streets (just over the Willamsburg bridge)

How HOT is your bike? Come to Williamsburg this Saturday and show it off! BICYCLE FETISH DAY is a chance for all of us celebrate our babies. The block will be closed to car traffic and open to all people who fetishize their beloved bicycles. There will be contests, jousting, food, music and prizes by local bicycle friendly vendors. TIME'S UP! will be rocking the tunes on our sound bike and whipping out some serious smoothies on our latest creation, Sweet Blenda, the Bike Blender.

Representing their unique styles will be clubs such as; The Civic Riders Bicycle Club, The Moustache Riders, Classic Riders Bicycle Club, Puerto Rico Schwinn Club, Black Label Bicycle Club, Bicycle Works NYC, Bicycle Cherry, Foodswings, NYC Bikes,

At 4 p.m. TIME'S UP! will take the stage and host the "Who Can Break Thru the Orange Netting?" Contest. Sign-up starts at noon at the TIME'S UP! table. Limited number of entries, so sign up early!

and totally unrelated, dumb but funny.



here's some dancehall to play repeatedly while you figure out what jiggles best in your spandex body-condom.

• 112 - Na Na Na (Dancehall Remix)

buy music, especially independent.


  1. sorry about jacking your shit and all.

  2. is it weird when you can have a casual conversation with a friend about how most of the people we know have gone to jail at various times, and can throw around slang for different holding areas and proceedures like they were sports teams?

  3. don't lie. you don't shower. we know you sucka.

  4. i think not being able to breathe is a perfectly good reason to not shower. . .

  5. just keep coming up with excuses, dirty. nothing a little mexican wrestler mask can't fix.